Dear Vertebrae,
For many years, you have all worked together to carry the weight around here. But it gives me great pain to note that two of you (and I'm not naming names) have decided to step out of line and do your own thing, paying no heed to the squeeze you're putting on those around you. Your actions have definitely hit a nerve.
I have been forced to bring in an outside chiropractic consultant to get things straightened out again. Going forward, I expect all of you to work with the consultant and align yourselves to support our shared mission. Remember, you are the backbone of this whole organization.
Sincerely,
Mike's Brain
(I wrote this and posted it in a more obscure place last year when I was having serious problems that ended in my having surgery. It's still funny, even though I'm much better now, thanks.)
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